By Jv Ramos

Danseur Elpidio Magat Jr. was perhaps in the worst place one could be when the first pandemic lockdown was announced in March 2020. A student pursuing a degree in Radiologic Technology (RadTech), he was busy fulfilling his internship requirement in a Tondo-based hospital. 

He remembers a pregnant woman being brought in with symptoms of COVID-19. Since hospitals were still new to dealing with the deadly virus then, there was really a scare even among the hospital personnel. Though the woman ultimately tested negative, our subject couldn’t help but be alarmed. 

The community lockdown meant that the internship would be cancelled and classes suspended. “Ang nasa isip ko noon ay bakit ito nangyayari sa time na gusto ko nang ituloy-tuloy ang pag-aaral para maka-graduate?”  (What entered my mind was, why is this happening at a time when I’ve taken a break from ballet to focus on and finish my studies?)

To cope with all sudden changes in his life plans, he took on activities outside of ballet and his field of study during the early months of the lockdown. He and his girlfriend, fellow Ballet Manila principal dancer Joan Emery Sia, would have mini photo shoots at home using a camera they bought. From time to time, they would also engage in impromptu choreography just for the fun of it. He also tried painting and cooking. 

“I guess, naghahanap ako ng creative outlet, a way to cope. Nakakatuwa din ma-discover na kaya ko palang gawin ang mga activities na first time kong pinasukan sa pandemic.”  (I guess I was looking for a creative outlet, a way to cope. I’m glad that I was able to discover that I can do other activities that I only got into because of the pandemic.)

What’s interesting about this is that JR – as friends call the danseur – retained some of his pandemic ventures and ended up wanting to learn more things. A typical day for him now, for example, would include cooking when all his ballet duties – from taking company class to teaching students at the Lisa Macuja School of Ballet – are done. Admitting that while he only used to fry food before, he has been able to increase his culinary know-how through YouTube tutorials. Now, from watching these online videos, he already anticipates what to cook next and is eager to learn more.

JR mentions that his sudden interest in cooking must also have been influenced by Gerardo Francisco, Ballet Manila principal dancer and resident choreographer, whose culinary skills are as brilliant as his dancing. “Sabi niya dati na marami siyang ideya for choreography na naiisip tuwing nagluluto, so parang naaaliw ako. Hindi ako kasing galing niya sa pagluto ah! Pero na-enjoy ko rin ang pagluto.”  (He once said that he would get ideas for choreography whenever he’d cook. I’m amused by that idea so I tried cooking. And no, I’m not as good as him, but I do get the joy he experiences when cooking.) 

In the second year of the pandemic, JR has ironically taken a more active role in ballet after lying low from it for his academic studies. Now, he expresses how he’s grateful to be taking company classes and teaching. “Ang tanging issue lang talaga sa akin ay ang space. Mahirap talagang maging ready for projects kung hindi ka nasa studio everyday… I mean, nakakayanan ko naman, nasasayaw ko ang mga pinapagawa sa akin. Pero alam ko na hindi pa 100% na in performance shape ang katawan ko.”  (The only issue for me is the lack of space. It’s pretty difficult to be ready for projects if you’re not in the studio daily… I mean, I’m able to do what’s asked of me, but I know that my body is not yet 100% in shape for performances.)

By projects, he means virtual pocket performances or filming engagements that Ballet Manila has been doing instead of live shows to continue bringing ballet and the joy of dance to the people. For the virtual season dubbed Silver Linings: Ballet Manila@25, a film called Ballet’s Greatest Hits required him to dance the jaw-dropping Ali Variation from Le Corsaire in the busy and concrete street of Donada, just outside Ballet Manila’s studio. For the Ballet Minis Series: Passages On Pointe, an anthology of short films undertaken with a grant from the Cultural Center of the Philippines, he has so far starred in Vision as inspired by La Bayadere and in Practice as inspired by George Birkadze’s Imperial. 

“Nitong pandemic lumiit ang space ng arts, kaya kung may opportunity to perform – na kahit online at kahit maikli lang – natutuwa ako'ng gawin iyon. Nabibigyan ako ng motivation at ng hope ng mga performances na ito,” he comments, adding that while performing live and filming may be very different experiences, both require the same level of preparation from him.  (During the pandemic, the space for arts became even smaller, so whenever there’s an opportunity to perform – regardless of it being online and short – I’m always open to it. I’m motivated and given hope by these performances.)  He stresses, “As dancers, we should always aim for perfection in whatever we do!” 

Having experienced putting ballet into film, JR realizes why dancing for film can be equally as demanding as live performances. “Siguro ang advantage ng film ay puwede mo'ng i-cut at kunin ang best parts. Pero ang challenge naman ay dapat consistent ang pag-portray mo sa character. Mas todo effort ang pag-portray mo rin sa character kasi mas intimate ang setting ng filming, so mas kita. At kapag film, permanent iyan! Makikita at makikita iyan ng tao, so kailangan mo talagang galingan." (Perhaps the advantage of filming is, you’re able to retake, cut, and select the best parts. But the problem with cuts is you can’t completely get into character. In film, you actually have to exert more effort in getting into character due to its intimate setting. It’s so obvious if you break character. Also, films are permanent. People will watch these over and over again, so you have to really do well.)

Not one to back away from watching recordings of his dancing, Elpidio reveals that whenever he watches himself, his mind would automatically look for areas that he could improve on. “Siguro ako na nga ang worst critic ko! Pero hindi rin naman ako mapagpilit. Mahirap din na gusto mo pa rin i-perfect kahit sobrang pagod na katawan mo.”  [Maybe I am my worst critic! But I’m also not the type to keep pushing. It’s not healthy to be someone who works towards perfection when your body is already beyond exhausted.)

As for the teaching part of his job, JR shares that one can never be too hard on students given the prevailing situation. “Kung online, i-expect mo nang may delay iyan. Like kung na-late nang kaunti sa music o may maling magawa, you have to be understanding towards your students. Baka may problem sa connection o kaya naman di ka narinig. Dapat patient lang lagi, and kailangan bigyan mo ng effort.”  (If classes are online, always expect that there would be a delay. So if the student’s timing is off or if he can’t get the combination right, you have to be understanding about it. It could be that they have connection problems or they were not able to hear you. Dance teachers should be patient, and should exert more effort.)

“Okay naman ako sa teaching, sa pag-demo sa mga higher levels,” JR puts forward. But if there were no pandemic, this danseur would prefer to deal with and train students when he’s much older. “I’d like to spend the best years of my dancing live-performing! But yes, nagustuhan ko rin naman ang teaching. Ito rin ay isang activity kung saan na-realize ko na kaya ko palang gawin ito, na may mga bagay pala outside sa pagsayaw na kaya kong gawin.” (But yes, I was able to form an appreciation for teaching. It’s also one of the activities that made me realize I can do something else apart from dancing.)

Seemingly comfortable with every element in his pandemic routine, one would think that JR has never had a low point. He notes however that he has had his share of down moments. To avoid these, he stays away from social media because he finds that the news and casual posts there are filled with negativity. “At kung may naririnig ako na mga opening na shows sa abroad, iniisip ko na lang na mangyayari din iyan dito. I like to be hopeful na magagawa din namin ang ginagawa namin dati.” (And whenever I hear about companies abroad already starting their performance seasons, I just tell myself that that will also happen here soon. I like to be hopeful that we’d be able to do what we used to do before.)

So how does he relax these days? Aside from the cooking adventures, JR says he and Joan find new ways to have date nights even when confined indoors. “May movie marathon at mga Shopee dates kami,” he shares. “At siyempre, mayroon ding times na wala nang luto. Nagpapa-deliver kami ng food, at basta’t may kasamang kanin, masayang-masaya na ako!” (We’d have movie marathons and Shopee date nights… Of course, there would also be nights wherein I don’t cook. We’d have food delivered and I would be so happy with anything that has rice!)

Sometime in the past year, he was able to resume his studies, also online, and expects to graduate in October from the Manila Adventist College. Explaining his persistence in finishing his course, JR notes the importance of always having choices. 

“I think we should always have options, especially now na may pandemic at hindi mo alam kung kailan matatapos,” he says with a rather serious tone. “Kung iiwanan ko ba ang sayaw?  Time lang ang makakapagsabi kung titigil na ako sa pagsasayaw. Pero sa ngayon po, very close pa rin ang sayaw sa akin, at sobrang masaya pa rin ako sa ginagawa ko.” (I think we should always have options, especially now that there’s a pandemic and we don’t know when it will end… Will I be leaving ballet soon? Only time can tell if I have to end my dancing career. But for now, dancing is still very close to my heart, and I’m very happy with all that I’m doing right now.)

He continues, “If theaters open tomorrow, ang gusto kong sayawin ay kahit anong classical role. Hindi ako marunong pumili, pero siguro ang role ni Basilio (in Don Quixote). Hindi ko pa kasi nasasayaw iyon nang full-length at bravura siya. Di tulad sa mga ginagawa kong madalas na puro lyrical. Pero kahit ano talaga! Sobrang nilu-look forward ko lang talaga na magka-show kami ulit!” (If theaters open tomorrow, what I would like to dance first is any classical role. I’m not so good with choosing, but maybe it’ll be Basilio in Don Quixote. I’ve never danced that role in full-length. Not to mention, it’s bravura! It’s very different from the roles I would often do, which are lyrical. But I would really dance anything! I’m really looking forward to the day when we have live shows again!)