By Jv Ramos

Ballet Manila company member Marinette Franco has always been a deep thinker, and this trait of hers has become even more pronounced when ballet returned after the worldwide pandemic. "When I remember those times, I find myself questioning, why did we have to suffer for four years just to be able to return to normal?" expresses the ballerina. But while it's true that her days are once again filled with studio time, rehearsals and performances, her life is vastly different from what it was before the lockdowns.

For instance, since her family moved back to the province during the pandemic, Marinette has learned to take charge by herself in Manila. "I'm now handling things that I'd never handled before – the bills, rent, savings, and even the food I need to have every day. Back then, when I'd come home from rehearsal, all I had to do was ask my mom what we were having (for dinner)." Nowadays, she would have to cook meals herself or figure out what to order should she feel too tired to prepare anything after a long day at the studio. "Then, if I get sick, I have to handle taking care of myself. A lot has really changed."

Though her life seems to be a quick influx of “adulting” tasks, Marinette assures that she's okay and that everything she experienced in the past few years – including a solo trip in Russia for a three-week cultural exchange program in 2022 – contributed to the ballerina that she is today.

"I used to just focus on going to work, then when I got home, I would forget about work. Now, when I go home, I find myself studying and practicing that step or combination I couldn’t get so that I already know what to do the next day," Marinette articulates. "Before, I just relied on other people to learn my role in a performance or relied on learning things together with the rest of the dancers. Now, it’s about showing up already knowing the steps. I hate it when I show up and don’t know what to do!"

This new practice comes in handy as tables have already been turned. Being an older member of the corps de ballet at 24, Marinette is the one the younger dancers often watch and rely on. "Now, I understand why the older dancers were so frustrated with me before. It's frustrating to encounter dancers who don't seem to put an effort in studying their role. But as an older member of the company, you'd have to help them. You can't have a great corps de ballet in the last Giselle production and have a messy one now. We won't allow it! We need to fix what needs to be fixed!"

To help the new dancers and at the same time develop their independent learning, Marinette has decided to teach them the steps the first time they ask, and to underline that they should learn what she teaches because she won't repeat it in the next rehearsal. She notes, "Though I understand what my seniors went through before, I also understand that these new dancers need to be approached in a different way. Ayokong natatakot sila (I don’t want them to be afraid) the way I would be before. You have to care about a dancer’s mental health too!"

Other than learning things ahead and sharing her knowledge and experience with the company’s younger members, Marinette has been exerting more effort in expanding her knowledge about the art she is in. “What I’ve changed too is being more aware of our own arts and culture. During my stay in Russia, I was very impressed by how the dancers knew so much about their arts, history and culture, and that made me ask myself, ‘What do I know about Philippine dance?’”

Realizing that she knew very little, she has made it a point to study the subject more, which includes watching the performances of other local companies and observing current developments in the Philippine dance scene. “Ballet really is more than just dancing. There are other aspects to it, which I hope I get to explore one day,” she says.

Asked what keeps her moving forward, Marinette shares she has kept that pandemic mindset of appreciating even the little things that happen. “Right now, I’m excited about going to work because the company is very busy. Other days, my reason to keep going is, I want to learn something new, or I want to end the week with a good meal, or that my mom is visiting Manila and I get to spend time with her.”

The company artist also puts forward that being in the presence of helpful principals and soloists gets her through the tough days. “Nanggigigil pa rin ako sa sarili ko kung may hindi ako nagagawa, at may mga moments na tinatanong ko kung ano ang worth ko sa company at kung nakikita pa ba ako,” she confesses. (I still get really frustrated with myself when I’m unable to do something, and I have moments when I question my worth in this company or if I’m still being seen.)

“During these times, it’s the senior dancers who help keep me on my toes. I’ve learned to ask for help and that I can approach them anytime. They’re the ones who tell me what to do or fix during those days that I feel I’m dancing so ugly.”

Currently, Marinette – along the other artists of Ballet Manila – is encountering days wherein they’re rehearsing for four different ballet performances. “I know that this is just a taste of how busy we’re going to be in the coming months, and while it’s tiring for the mind and body, I’m grateful to be dancing again.”

Photos by Giselle P. Kasilag