Ako, kasi, ilalaban ko ’yun hangga’t nasa studio kasi naniniwala ako na kung kaya mo siya sa studio, kaya mo siya on stage. So sa studio pa lang, hindi ko talaga siya kaya so on the day of the show nagsabi ako kay Sir Shaz [Osias Barroso Jr., the late co-artistic director of Ballet Manila]. Sabi ko, “Sir Shaz, sorry. Na-try ko talaga ’yung best ko pero hindi talaga ako ready for this step [in Le Corsaire (2018)] .” So sabi niya, okay, simplify na lang natin. Pero ’yung “simplify” niya, mahirap pa rin! Umiikot pa rin pero mas stable ako doon sa step na simplified so mas okay. At the end of the day, mas gusto niyo na ’yun ang mare-remember ng audience, ’yung secure kayo at hindi ’yung nalaglag. Para sa akin, nilaban ko naman siya pero siguro kulang ng time and preparation.

For me, I will fight for it while I’m still in the studio because I really believe that if you can do it in the studio, you can do it on stage. So at the studio, I really couldn’t do it, so on the day of the show I told Sir Shaz. I said, “Sir Shaz, sorry. I tried my best but I’m really not yet ready for this step.” So he said, okay, let’s simplify this. But his “simplify” is still very difficult! It’s still a lot of turns but I’m more stable in the simplified step so it’s more okay. At the end of the day, that’s what you want the audience to remember, that you’re secure and not falling. For me, I really fought for it but maybe there was just not enough time and preparation.

Top photo by Sean Pelegrin