In Their Own Words: Joshua Enciso on finding creativity in the midst of uncertainty
In their own words, the artists of Ballet Manila share their thoughts and experiences on not merely surviving but flourishing in the very challenging world of dance. This series is a collection of personal anecdotes, as well as words of wisdom that can be heartwarming, funny or dramatic, but always inspiring regardless of what field one is pursuing.
Dance is my first love. Bata pa lang ako, nagsasayaw na ako. Ito ‘yung pinaka-naging ako. Pag sinabing Joshua, ballet dancer ito! So alam nilang dancer talaga. Tapos biglang mapapa-isip ka na... Hala! Mawawala ‘yung sayaw. So parang wala ka na rin sa mundo. Parang ganoon ang feeling ko, pag into art ka talaga… kasi lahat tayo… kaming mga dancer, ginawa na naming mundo ang art tapos ngayon na mawawala, ano na ang mangyayari? Mabubuhay pa ba kami? Natakot talaga ako. Minsan parang hopeless. Parang malabo.
Pero dahil lockdown, you have more time to think, to create something. Minsan pag mag-isa ka lang dito sa studio, magpapatugtog ka lang ng music tapos, alam mo ‘yung gusto mo lang huminga tapos mag-create ka ng piece para sa sarili mo? Para lang mailabas mo ‘yung feeling. Kasi minsan ang bigat din ‘yung pinagdadaanan ng mga dancers.
Dance is my first love. Even as a child, I was already dancing. This is what made me who I am. When they say Joshua, he’s a ballet dancer! They know I’m really a dancer. Then you start thinking... Oh no! Dance will disappear. So it’s like you will disappear from this world too. That was how I was feeling, because when you’re into the arts… all of us… us dancers, we made art our world and then it disappears. What will happen to us? Will we still live? I was really afraid. Sometimes it felt so hopeless. It was so uncertain.
But because we were on lockdown, we had more time to think, to create something. Sometimes, you can be alone in the studio, play some music, and you just want to breathe and create a piece for yourself. Just to express this feeling. Because sometimes, it really feels so heavy what dancers are experiencing.
Top photo taken from Joshua Enciso’s Facebook page
Soloist Joshua Enciso as Snow White’s prince when the character came as a guest to Princess Aurora and Prince Desire’s wedding in Lisa Macuja-Elizalde’s Sleeping Beauty. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
