After a long pandemic break, soloist Anselmo Dictado just wants to keep on dancing
As Prinsipe Juan in Gerardo Francisco’s Ibong Adarna in 2019, Anselmo Dictado brought his fun-loving nature to the role. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
By Jv Ramos
Ballet Manila (BM) soloist Anselmo Dictado is one of those who can’t imagine himself doing anything aside from dancing; but since the COVID-19 pandemic happened, he was forced to take on other paths.
Anselmo “Elmoe” Dictado is known for his infectious grin, but behind it lies the grit that helped him weather the tough times of the pandemic. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
During the early months of the lockdown in 2020, he focused on finishing his high school studies while teaching at the Lisa Macuja School of Ballet. “Undergrad po kasi ako kaya naman pinagpaaral ako habang wala pa ang mga live shows,” explains the danseur, who’s known to many as Elmoe. “Sobrang thankful ako sa pagpapaaral sa akin, pero kinailangan ko itong itigil muna dahil kinailangan ko nang magtrabaho.” (I’m still an undergrad so I was sent to school while there were no live shows happening… I’m very thankful that they sent me to school but soon I had to put that on hold because I needed more income.)
Seeing that the community lockdowns kept on extending without signs of live shows coming back soon, Elmoe got alarmed and took it upon himself to explore other means of livelihood. Taking what he learned from extensively cooking and baking at home, he moved to Pangasinan with his girlfriend in 2021 and worked in a panaderia (bakery). “Doon ako nagpaalam kay Ma’am Lise [BM artistic director Lisa Macuja-Elizalde] na ititigil ko na rin muna ang pagtuturo ng sayaw online,” Elmoe opens up. “Ang hirap po kasi ng Internet connection sa probinsiya. Nakakahiya din na tuwing nagsasalita ako sa klase, nakikipagsabayan ang kahol ng mga aso. Isang taon din talaga ako nawala sa Ballet Manila, dahil kinailangan ko muna mag-focus sa ibang trabaho.” (That was when I told Ma’am Lise that I would have to stop giving dance lessons online… It’s very hard to get a stable Internet connection in the province. Not to mention, it was very embarrassing that whenever I’d talk, my students could hear dogs barking in the background. It really wasn’t an ideal situation to teach, so I stopped for about a year and really focused on my work.)
Ballet Manila soloist Anselmo Dictado partners Jessa Balote in Tony Fabella’s Dancing to Verdi, performed as part of Two! In 2014. Photo by Ocs Alvarez
“Nalungkot ba ako noong hindi na ako sumasayaw araw-araw? Opo naman! Hindi naging madaling desisyon na iwanan ko ang BM. Ako na siguro ang isa sa pinakamalungkot dahil ang tagal ko na rin sa company.” (Was I sad about my decision? Definitely! It wasn’t easy for me to leave BM. I’m probably one of the members who found it really difficult as I’d been with the company for so long.) While Elmoe didn’t spend his boyhood and teenage years with the company due to his late start in ballet, he became very attached to BM as he poured his heart out into every opportunity and challenge.
He performed with excellence in season performances, which included lead roles in Osias Barroso’s Pinocchio and Gerardo Francisco’s Ibong Adarna, represented BM and the Philippines well in international competitions and festivals in Hong Kong, mainland China, Korea and Russia, and shared his knowledge about hip-hop and street dance at the Lisa Macuja School of Ballet. He also acted as an informal talent “recruiter” for the company. Whenever Elmoe would see that a young boy has the potential to be a dancer, he would convince that person to come to BM’s open auditions.
Being part of Ballet Manila’s comeback show, Rise!, in October 2022 was satisfying for Elmoe (in yellow) as it marked the company’s return to live performance. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
He confesses, “Kahit ang dami kong inaatupag noong may quarantine, di ko maiwasang mag-alala sa sitwasyon ng BM. Minsan nga kahit nag-da-drive ako, bigla akong nalulungkot dahil naaalala ko ang BM.” (Even if I was attending to many duties during the quarantine, I couldn’t help but worry about BM. There was even a time when I was driving and suddenly begin to cry because I would remember BM.)
To Elmoe, BM clearly wasn’t just his place of work. The studio was home, and its teachers and dancers were his family. Being part of BM wasn’t something that he could completely let go of; but he also knew that he needed to work on a few things before rejoining the company.
“Hinanap ko ang sarili ko sa Pangasinan,” says the BM soloist, who admits to being consumed by sadness when the pandemic took his dancing life away. “Ang naiisip ko kasi lagi ay baka hindi na makabalik ang BM at malampasan lang ako. At kung bumalik man ang BM, makakaya ko pa ba? May edad na rin kasi ako!” Elmoe says quite frankly. (I tried to find myself in Pangasinan… Because during the pandemic, all I could think about was, maybe BM won’t return and that my time as a dancer would just pass. And even if BM returned, would I still be able to dance well? I’m already in my 30s, after all.)
Elmoe takes the titular role in Osias Barroso’s Pinocchio (2015). Photo by Ocs Alvarez
To overcome the thoughts that weighed him down, Elmoe did what always worked for him. He turned to his faith and asked for the strength to not lose hope. In addition, he reflected hard on what he could change about himself, so that when he returned, he would be an even better dancer than before. “Dahil wala ka nang magagawa sa mga lumipas at ang puwede mo na lang baguhin ay ang ngayon at mga parating, doon ako nag-focus.” (Because you can’t do anything about the past anymore and all you can change is the present and the future, that’s what I focused on.)
“Ang kulang na kulang dati sa akin ay disiplina,” reflects the fun-loving Elmoe. “Dati, lagi akong 2 a.m. o 3 a.m. natutulog at 7 a.m. nagigising. Pero noong pandemic, binago ko ito. Sinabi ko rin sa sarili ko na kung babalik ako, di na ako aangal tungkol sa mga role na ayaw kong isayaw. Kung may edad ka na kasi, baka huling sayaw mo na ‘yon. Kaya dapat thankful lang lagi.” (Before, I really lacked discipline. I would always sleep at 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. and would wake up at 7 a.m. But during the pandemic, I addressed this habit. I also told myself that if given the chance to dance again, I will never complain about roles I don’t like to dance. Because I’m older, there’s a chance that it could be my last performance. I should always be thankful for every opportunity.)
Adept in contemporary and classical dance, Elmoe is cast in the Reed Flutes portion of The Nutcracker, as excerpted in Nutkraker (2014). Photo by Daniel Trinidad
With his mind at peace, he just needed to work on getting back in shape upon returning to BM in 2022. “Dahil kumikilos ako noong pandemic, hindi ako masyadong lumaki sa mata ng iba. Pero sa totoo lang, iba na ang feeling ko,” claims Elmoe, laughing. “Tuwing gumagalaw ako, may bigat akong nararamdaman. Kaya naman noong bumalik ako, hindi muna ako talaga nagkakanin. May mga times na nanghihina ang hita ko, pero tiniis ko lang dahil kailangan. Ngayon, dahil bumalik na rin ang katawan, may kanin, pero may intermittent fasting akong ginagawa.” (Because I was active during the pandemic, my body didn’t really change, especially from other people’s point of view. But the truth is, I’d been uneasy about my body… Every time I’d move, I could tell that I got heavier. So when I returned to BM, I disciplined myself to remove rice from my diet. Yes, there were times that I felt weak, but I powered through because it was needed! Now that my body is more in shape, I’ve brought back the rice and still do intermittent fasting.)
Asked how he felt about his return, Elmoe notes that the best moments he’s had still has to do with performing in front of a live audience. “Nakakaiyak! Lalo na noong Rise, kung saan sumigaw ang buong kumpanya ng ‘Ballet Manila, rise!’ Eto na kasi kami, sa wakas nakabalik na rin!” (There were tears of joy, especially when we all shouted ‘Ballet Manila, rise!’ in the Rise production. That signaled that the company was back!)
Dancing as Mercutio in last February’s contemporary take on Romeo & Juliet, Elmoe would get praised by choreographer Martin Lawrance for giving it his all. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
With BM’s season-opener Romeo & Juliet already done last February, where Elmoe stood out as he danced the role of Mercutio, he is now busy preparing for Don Quixote and Ibong Adarna. “Alam ko na August pa ang Ibong Adarna, pero ngayon pa lang, pinaghahandaan ko na,” says a very determined Elmoe. “Oo, ibang-iba na Elmoe ako ngayon. Ayaw ko nang magsayang ng oras. Gusto ko lang sumayaw nang sumayaw!” (Though Ibong Adarna is still scheduled in August, I’m already preparing for it. I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to keep dancing!)
At 32, this danseur proclaims that he will do whatever it takes to still be performing in live shows at the age of 40. “Maliit at maliksi ang katawan ko, so kapag ganu’n na ang edad ko, alam ko na kayang-kaya ko pa na sumayaw ng contemporary dances. Kailangan ko lang talaga ipagpatuloy ang pag-ingat sa katawan ko.” (My body is short and agile, so when I’m older, I know that I would still be capable of performing contemporary dances. I just really need to continue taking care of my body.)
Elmoe is grateful for the chance to be reclaim his position as Ballet Manila soloist and resume his sorely missed dancing career. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
To keep learning and improving, regardless of what age one starts training in ballet, Elmoe shares that what worked for him was watching senior dancers rehearse over and over again, asking them for tips, and finding a ballet dancer who continuously inspires.
But what would make a ballet dancer such as himself thrive, he believes, is not dwelling on past mistakes and experiences. He reiterates, “Huwag mag-hold on sa past dahil wala nang mangyayari doon. Move forward ka na lang. Hanapin mo kung ano ang dapat mong baguhin sa sarili at magsimula ka roon.” (Don’t hold on to the past because you can no longer change that. Just move forward. Think about the things that you can improve on and begin from there.)
Related stories:
Late bloomer Elmoe Dictado thriving in ballet
From hip-hop to ballet: Elmoe Dictado’s call to dance
