By Jv Ramos

It is perhaps not that common to hear about male ballet dancers who, in the midst of their professional career, are also occupied with raising a family. One such danseur-dad is Ballet Manila's Romeo Peralta Jr., who – together with wife Sofie, teacher at the Lisa Macuja School of Ballet – is raising three boys as he continues to work as one of the company’s principal dancers.

“When you’re a parent already, you approach things differently,” expresses Romeo whenever someone pokes fun at how serious and contemplative he can be. “Di na puwede ang mga ginagawa ko nu’ng scholar days ko (I can no longer behave the way I did during my days as a scholar),” he adds, noting that he has come a long way since he first entered the studios of Ballet Manila twenty-three years ago. 

Back then, as a twelve-year-old boy, the thought of ballet as a career never even occurred to him. But his parents were open-minded and the type who enrolled their children in various activities during school break. In the summer of 2000, they heard of an audition for scholars at Ballet Manila and decided it would be a good idea for Romeo to join his sister Honey in trying out for it.

Like many boys, Romeo didn’t think much of ballet, except that it’s an activity that’s more for girls. But being an obedient child, he didn’t resist going to the audition. Surprisingly, he was the one who was accepted and he spent that summer training with “Teacher Jeff” – Ballet Manila pioneer Jeffrey Espejo. “Na-enjoy ko at na-challenge ako sa mga pinagagawa sa aming mga boys, kaya naman tinuloy ko ito, kahit natapos na ang summer.” (I enjoyed it and got challenged by the work they’d ask the boys to do, so I continued the training even after summer was over.)

Romeo explains that since he felt there was more to explore in ballet, he got hooked. Soon, the days of bending and demi pointes turned into difficult combinations and barre work with another Ballet Manila mentor, former co-artistic director Osias “Shaz” Barroso. In time, that early training would pave the way for competitions, tours, and season performances.

“Nakatulong din na marami akong naging kaibigan dito, at nakakanood ako ng free shows sa Rizal Park, sa Concert at the Park, na mga teachers ko ang sumasayaw! Na-impress ako sa ginagawa nila, kaya ‘yon, kaya nagpatuloy lang ang pag-e-explore ko ng ballet.” (It also helped that I made so many friends here and that I was able to watch free shows in Rizal Park, at Concert at the Park, where my own teachers would perform. I was quite impressed at what they could do, so I continued my training and exploration of ballet.)

But staying on as a ballet scholar while also attending to his academic studies had its challenges. Once, he almost lost his scholarship. “I was in Grade 6 at that time and I thought it would be okay to not show up for one Le Corsaire performance, where I had a minor role as a guard, because I had an activity in school,” he relates. He thought he could miss the afternoon show and just make it to the one in the evening. When he arrived at the theater, everyone told Romeo that he was already “banned” from Ballet Manila. 

“Galit na galit sa akin si Sir Jeff at Sir Shaz noon at gusto nila talaga akong tanggalin. Nalungkot ako siyempre kasi nga gusto ko pa mag-ballet.” (Sir Jeff and Sir Shaz were so mad at me and actually wanted me removed. This made me sad because I really wanted to continue with ballet.)

Ashamed of his mistake, Romeo went to the dressing room of both mentors and apologized despite being very scared. “Upbringing ko kasi ‘yon. Tinuruan ako ng magulang ko na mag-apologize kung nagkamali ako (It’s my upbringing to apologize when I’m wrong, so I did it.)

Of course, apologizing is just the first step. You have to change the way you do things.”

Fortunately for Romeo, he was given a second chance that day by Eric V. Cruz, artistic director of Ballet Manila. “While everyone was having dinner, I was called upstairs because he wanted to discuss my absence in the show. I thought he’d get mad at me too and let me know that I’m gone for good. Instead, he decided to remove me from all Le Corsaire shows for that season, to be fair to the other boys, but he allowed me to keep my scholarship.”

That was one of Romeo’s earliest lessons, certainly an unforgettable one, in professionalism “After that conversation with Sir Eric happened, I challenged myself to not only improve, but also gain back the trust of my mentors by really making myself better.“ For him, the incident also underlined that there are no small roles in ballet – how important it is to always show up and give one’s best in whatever role one is assigned.

“If there’s one thing that has helped me get through all my years in the company, it’s the thinking that you’re always a student. It doesn’t matter if you’re a scholar, apprentice or already a principal dancer. You have to be open to corrections and always trust the decisions of your artistic director.”

In some ways, Romeo’s ballet life has shaped his parenting. Disciplining his three sons, for one, is similar to how he deals with younger dancers and ballet students. "Before pointing out what one has done wrong, I think carefully about what I'm going to say. You have to be able to say that what they did is wrong without discouraging them. They should want to try better and not rebel after you speak with them."

Romeo says he never really gets angry, but frustrated especially at times when he knows his kids could do better. Here, our subject admits that he tends to brings home his instructor voice, which could at times upset his boys. "When this happens, I explain to my sons that I'm not angry, I just have a loud voice. Being mindful of my tone is something I still work on.”

So what sort of ballet teacher has Romeo turned into? "Because I was once a scholar, I have an understanding of what the boys are going through, so in a way I am able to empathize with them more. I also make an effort to retain the teaching ways that are good and not repeat the ones I didn’t like. Now that I’m the one teaching, I can decide on the kind of teaching style I want to have.”

Among the lessons he wants to pass on is to always look presentable, even when one is not portraying the part of a prince onstage. “Though I hardly interacted with Sir Eric, because he was more involved in the company than the school, this was something he always instructed. And there’s a good reason behind dressing and presenting yourself well. If you’re in slippers, for example, it’s possible you can get injured. Moreover, even when you’re not performing, you’re representing Ballet Manila.”

Another practice he would like to retain is being approachable to his students but at the same time having that professional boundary present. "My door's always open for them to talk to me, para sa mga kakulitan nila, pero kapag show na, dapat seryoso at focused na sa performance nila."  (I’m also open to their jokes, but when the show begins, we have to be serious and focused to deliver a good performance.)

While the principal dancer wants younger danseurs to be attentive and obedient towards their mentors, he also wants them to realize that there's a sense of independence that comes with being a performer. "Your teacher's job is done once you step out of the studio and step on stage. Whenever I'm on stage, I do my best because I would like to give back to my teachers and mentors. Dahil talaga namang ibinuhos nila ang oras at effort para matuto ako!" (After all, they really poured their time and effort to train me well.)

He says the young dancers nowadays are very lucky. “They have a lot of mentors who can give them pointers on how to do things better. Their training is more focused compared to my days as a scholar. There’s also the age factor. They started younger so they’re able to dance many roles that I danced only when I was older. And many of them are more talented!”

Following his parents’ example, Romeo wants to expose his sons to different activities to help them develop interests they can pursue. But they are never forced into anything if they don’t like it. “Kahit kami ni Sofie ay nasa field ng arts, hindi namin sila pinilit na mag-tap o mag-drawing o kung sa sports, na mag-taekwondo. Nag-o-open lang kami ng doors pero sila ang bahala sa desisyon.” (Even if Sofie and I are in the field of arts, we didn’t force them to enroll in tap, to learn drawing or in sports, to take up taekwondo. We simply open doors and it’s up to them if they want to try it.)

Romeo shares that their eldest, Ethan, is showing a penchant for drawing. “Tuwing ipinapakita niya sa akin ang gawa niya, parang pagaling lang siya nang pagaling. Hindi ko ito sinasabi sa kanya kahit sobrang impressed na impressed ako. Sinasabi ko lang na you can always be better." (Whenever he shows me his work, he seems to be getting better and better. I don’t point this out to him though even if I’m very impressed. I just say, you can always be better.)

Like in ballet where one has to be better than one's last performance, Romeo wants his boys to not be complacent. That they have to keep trying harder in whatever field they choose.

The most challenging part of being a father for Romeo is to continuously be a good example to his sons. “Kids always look up to you and copy what you do, so you have to do what’s right and the best that you can do. Until now, I’m working on being that good example. I’m very conscious of my movements and the way I would react to the little mistakes they make.”

Romeo notes that he’d be very lost if he didn’t have his faith. “My goal is to guide them towards the right way, which is God’s way. As a Christian, I’m always trying to be in a good relationship with God. It’s only when you have that good relationship with Him that you can share it with your kids, family, friends, co-workers and others. Definitely, my faith is very central to me.”

For sure, being in ballet helped prepare Romeo for fatherhood. “I’ve learned many things during my 23 years here, and really, I’m nothing but grateful,” concludes the danseur.