By Jv Ramos

“Mautak ang mga Pinoy, kaya alam ko na makakahanap tayo ng paraan na bumalik ang ballet (Filipinos always find a way, so I always knew that we’d figure out a way for ballet to return),” comments Ballet Manila company member Rodney Catubay. That is how he replies when asked if he ever felt worried during the pandemic lockdowns if ballet could still come back.

In the nearly three-year period when there were no live performances, Rodney had to channel that resilience personally as he had to find other means to put food on the table. Aside from trying out a call center job, he also explored different work options involving the use of his motorcycle, such as being a rider for a courier company and a food delivery service.

“Nag-enjoy ako kasi taong gala ako. Masayang feeling na kayo-kayo lang ang nasa kalsada noong kasagsagan ng lockdown. Pero siyempre kailangan din mag-ingat dahil puwede kaming ma-expose sa COVID at dahil sa sobrang hirap ng  buhay, maraming hold-up at pagnanakaw na pwedeng mangyari sa daan.” (I enjoyed being a rider back then because I’m an adventurous person. It was a happy feeling to be the only ones on the road during the height of the lockdown. Of course, we also had to be cautious because we could be exposed to COVID and because life was difficult, hold-ups and stealing could happen any time on the road.)

His self-imposed shift as a delivery rider began at around 8 a.m., but he would begin this later in the day whenever Ballet Manila would conduct company classes through Zoom. Rodney’s ability to do other non-dance-related jobs is what he considers to be the “bright side” of the pandemic. But definitely, he wouldn’t trade any of that with being a company artist with Ballet Manila.

“Ang nag-resonate talaga sa akin noong pandemic ay ang mga salita ni Sir Shaz [former co-artistic director Osias Barroso Jr.] na ‘Don’t take ballet for granted.’ Ang hirap talaga nu’ng nawala ang ballet sa buhay ko!” (What resonated with me during the pandemic were the words of Sir Shaz: ‘Don’t take ballet for granted.’ Not having ballet in my life was very difficult for me!)

The 25-year-old points out how ballet has become his passion through the years and how dancing on stage gives him so much fulfillment – a feeling that he didn’t experience in other jobs. “Ang pinakagusto ko sa ballet ay kapag naririnig ko ang palakpak ng audience sa show kahit di man ako ang lead,” expresses Rodney. ”Ang ibig sabihin kasi nito ay nagawa namin ng mabuti ang trabaho – na na-feel ang presence namin ng pinakamalayong audience.” (What I like most in ballet is hearing the applause of the audience after a show even if you’re not the lead. What this means is we’ve done our job well – that even those in the last row felt our presence.)

“Isa rin sa lagi kong naiisip noong pandemic ay si Ma’am Lise [artistic director Lisa Macuja-Elizalde] at kung paano niya nabubuhat ang buong kumpanya. Ang daming napagdaanan na pagsubok ang Ballet Manila, pero nagawan niya ng paraan na bumalik ito.” (Another thing that I kept thinking of during the pandemic was Ma’am Lise and how she was able to hold the company together. Ballet Manila went through so many challenges, yet she was able to find a way for it to return.)

Rodney explains that even if his artistic director experienced so much heartbreak in recent years (namely the fire that affected their home stage, Aliw Theater, in 2019 and Ballet Manila’s activities being interrupted by a worldwide pandemic), she showed no weakness whether it was in conducting classes in Zoom or when they resumed their day-to-day rehearsals in the studio. Moreover, he adds, their leader was always willing to lend a helping hand whenever any of her dancers needed it during those tough times. 

“Siya talaga ay isang superwoman (She is really a superwoman!),” emphasizes the danseur with admiration, adding that her resilience and kindness moved him to become an even better artist.

Asked what it was like performing again on stage, Rodney replies that he felt very blessed to have ballet back, even if the company was quite smaller than before. “Dahil mas kaunti kami, ang dami naming roles na sinasayaw sa mga shows. Hindi ito madali pero masayang-masaya ako sa pagsasayaw!” (Because the company is smaller, we are assigned to dance multiple roles. This isn’t easy but I’m very happy dancing several roles.)

Apart from performing, Rodney has also developed an interest in teaching ballet, which he was unexpectedly assigned to do on a trip to Taiwan with other Ballet Manila danseurs last July. The group went there upon the invitation of the Zhongli Youth Ballet, a school in Taipei which Ballet Manila had already enjoyed a partnership with before the  pandemic.

“Sobrang nagustuhan ko ang experience ng pagtuturo. Very eager kasi ang mga estudyante doon na matuto. Kahit paulit-ulit, okay lang sa kanila; at kapag maaga natapos ang klase, gusto pa nila. Kahit nga tama na ang ginagawa, gusto pa rin nila ipagpatuloy ang rehearsal.” (I really liked the experience of teaching. The students there were very eager to learn. They didn’t mind even if they had to keep repeating the steps; and when classes would finish early, they wanted more. Even if what they’re doing is already polished, they’d insist on continuing rehearsals.)

Rodney adds that his experience in competing when he was younger really helped him with the task of teaching in Taiwan. “Dahil nagawa ko nang mag-compete, medyo alam ko na ang hinahanap ng mga judges, at ito naman ay na-share ko sa kanila,” says the Asian Grand Prix 2016 fifth placer, who clearly makes the most out of every opportunity Ballet Manila presents him. (Because I have competition experience, I’m familiar with what the judges are looking for and this is what I shared with the students.)

Rodney is excited that the same group that went to Taiwan in July will be returning there in November to perform. “Sa pagbabalik ng mga tours na ganito ko nasabi na talagang bumalik na ang Ballet Manila. Nakakapunta ang mga Ballet Manila dancers sa iba’t-ibang lugar!” (It’s through the return of tours like this that I was able to say that Ballet Manila is really back. Ballet Manila dancers are able to go to different places again now.)

With the return of season performances and company tours, Rodney is optimistic that more opportunities and projects are in store for the artists of Ballet Manila, and he’s very much willing to take on any role – even multiple roles – to give people a good show. “Ang laging nasa isip ko ay ang advice ni Kuya Sean [company artist Sean Pelegrin] na pagtapak mo pa lang sa stage, dapat wala na si Rodney! Dapat ang nakikita ng audience ay ang character mo, at kahit hindi ka ang lead, dapat ma-feel nila ang presence mo.”  (What I always keep in mind are the words of company artist Sean Pelegrin – that once you step on stage, Rodney should be gone. All the audience should see is the character you’re portraying and that even if you’re not the lead, they should feel your presence.)

He underlines that this is where his passion for the art plays a huge role. “Kung wala kang passion, kung di mo mahal ang pagsasayaw, para ka lang robot sa stage dahil wala kang artistry, at hindi ito magandang panuorin.” (If you don’t have passion, if you don’t love dancing, you’ll be like a robot on stage because you don’t have artistry, and that’s difficult for anyone to watch.)

Rodney points out that if anyone wants to pursue ballet, they have to figure out early on if it’s the one thing they would really like to do in life. “Kapag nasabi mo ’yun, be ready, dahil marami kang pagdadaanan. Mahirap maging dancer. Ito’y ma-e-enjoy mo lang kung ito talaga ang passion mo!” (Once you’ve decided that this is what you want to do, be ready, because you’re going to encounter a lot of struggles. Being a dancer isn’t easy. You’ll only enjoy it if it’s really your passion.)