By Jv Ramos

Always seen joking around and willing to share all sorts of anecdotes about his fellow dancers, Ballet Manila company artist Raymond Salcedo seems to have it easy in and out of the ballet studio.

But the truth is, this danseur – from the very beginning – was never in an ideal situation to pursue a ballet career.

“Ampon po kasi ako at ang kumupkop sa akin ay walang kakayahang magpalaki sa akin. Napakalayo ng ballet sa buhay ko dati,” opens up the 26-year-old. (I’m an orphan and the person who adopted me didn’t have much to be able to raise me. Ballet was so distant from my life before.)

How ballet entered his life had to do with him being sent to a vocational school through the Salesians of Don Bosco’s Tuloy Foundation. The group’s mission is to get poor, abandoned and homeless children off the streets and into a safe, nurturing place they can call home. There, Raymond would encounter husband and wife Jeffrey Espejo and Pamela Asprer, Ballet Manila pioneers who had established themselves as ballet mentors in various dance schools.

“Noong una, hindi pa nga ballet ang pag-introduce sa amin. Ang sabi ay gymnastics daw, kaya naman sumali ako.  Mahilig kasi ako’ng tumambling noong bata,” says Raymond. (At first, they didn’t introduce the activity as ballet. They said that they were training for gymnastics, and because I liked tumbling as a child, I decided to join.) He recalls that the positions and steps they had to do were very easy at first. It also helped that Teacher Jeffrey was such a charismatic teacher, so Raymond just kept learning.

He admits to feeling awkward about wearing tights at first, but he would soon forget about this when he saw Teacher Jeff and Teacher Pam’s female students. “Ang gaganda nila kaya naman na-motivate ako’ng magpatuloy ng ballet kahit pahirap na ito nang pahirap,” shares the danseur while laughing embarrassedly about his younger self. (I found the ballerinas so beautiful that I was motivated to continue my training even if it was getting harder and harder.)

“Pero nakatulong din ang mga nakikita kong students na nasa advanced level at pati si Sir Jeff. Kung anu-anong jumps at turns ang nagagawa niya dati at tuwing nakikita ko ang mga ito, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na itutuloy ko ang ballet para magawa ko rin ang mga ginagawa nila.” (But it really helped to see the other students in the advanced level and also Sir Jeff. Back then, he could do all sorts of jumps and turns and whenever I saw this, I would tell myself that I would continue ballet so I could also do what they were doing.)

After more years of training, our subject would soon find himself detached from the idea of merely doing it to meet pretty ballerinas or to show off dance tricks. “Ang laman ng utak at puso ko ay naging ballet, kaya naman nag-decide ako na gawin ko nang career ito.” (There was a time when ballet became all that was in my head and heart, so I decided to pursue it as a career.)

It was at this point that he decided to follow his mentors’ suggestion to continue his dance journey in Ballet Manila. “Sa Aliw Theater po ako nag-audition noon. Ang mga kasabayan ko ay sina Joshua, Rodney at JC at hanggang ngayon, nandito pa rin kami,” proudly states Raymond. (It was in Aliw Theater that I auditioned. I remember seeing Joshua (Enciso), Rodney (Catubay), and JC (Concepcion) also auditioning then, and we’re all still here with Ballet Manila.)

Asked how his mother reacted to his career choice, this talent replies that she just couldn’t hold back her tears when she first watched him perform. “Tapos na nga ang show pero iyak pa rin siya ng iyak. Grabe! Kahit hindi niya ako totoong anak, sobra ang saya niya sa narating ko. Sinabihan din niya ako na panghawakan ko na ang ballet at huwag ko ito pakakawalan.”  (Even when the show was done, she was still in tears. Though I wasn’t her biological son, she was so happy about what I achieved. She told me to commit myself to ballet and to never let it go.)

Moved by the support he received from the parental figure in his life, Raymond gave his best to every opportunity given to him. Apart from dancing in recitals and company performances, he became part of Ballet Manila’s Asian Grand Prix 2016 delegation, where he placed 4th in the Senior B category.

“Nakaka-enganyo din siyempre ang maka-place ka sa isang competition,” he expresses. “Pero ang motivation ko talaga ay ang promise ko kay Mama na hindi ko talaga ito pakakawalan kahit anuman ang mangyari.” (It’s definitely encouraging to place in competitions… But my real motivation is my promise to my mother that I would never let it go no matter what happened.)

Here, Raymond recalls being sidelined for an entire year due to a leg injury. “Nangyari iyon noong 2019 pero hanggang ngayon, may trauma pa rin ako sa nangyari. Kaya kapag nauunahan ako ng takot, umaayaw na agad ako sa gagawin na jump! Mabuti na lang po talaga na napaka-supportive ng mga  dancers sa akin.”  (My injury happened in 2019 but until now, I’m traumatized by the experience. Whenever fear enters my head, I can no longer do the jump I’m supposed to do. It’s a good thing that I’m being reminded by my fellow dancers that I can do it.)

Never one to forget any act of kindness shown to him, this danseur points out that he wouldn’t be where he is right now post-injury if his friends in Ballet Manila didn’t cheer him on. “Ang laking tulong kapag naririnig ko ang kanilang, ‘Kaya mo iyan, Mond!’ Lumalakas talaga ang loob ko na gawin ang step. Pero siyempre, nag-iingat pa rin talaga ako. Hindi ako basta-basta lang gumagawa ng mga tricks. Ang hirap nang ma-injure ka ulit!” (It’s really a big help whenever I hear my fellow dancers say, ‘You can do it, Mond!’ I gain courage from hearing that. But of course, I’m really very cautious about the way I move. I no longer perform tricks for fun. It’s so difficult if you get injured again.)

But perhaps this danseur’s biggest heartbreak is the passing of his adoptive mother during the long period of lockdown. “Ang pinakamasakit na nangyari sa akin ay ang hindi ko man lang nasamahan si Mama sa mga huling minuto niya. Nag-test kasi akong positive sa COVID kaya kinailangan akong ihiwalay sa kanya.” (The hardest thing that happened to me is I wasn’t able to accompany my mother in her last moments. I tested positive for COVID back then so I had to be isolated from her when she was admitted in the hospital for another illness.) Raymond’s mother, who had always been supportive and proud of him, died in the hospital as he was being brought to a quarantine facility. 

“Sobrang hirap ng namatayan ka at wala ka man lang kakilala sa paligid mo,” comments Raymond as he looks back at this dark chapter in his life. “Pero grabe, kahit hirap na hirap ang ibang dancers dahil wala ngang performances nang sobrang tagal, natulungan pa rin nila ako noon. Pamilya talaga ang turing nila sa akin!” (It’s very difficult to deal with the death of a loved one when you’re in a place with no one but strangers… But even in the most difficult of times, my fellow dancers in the company still were able to pool together some funds to help me out when my mother died. They really treat me as family!)

Raymond adds insistently, “Gusto ko rin pala malaman ng lahat na noong hindi ako makauwi sa Dasmariñas, Cavite nang nag-lockdown, pinatira ako ni JC (Concepcion) sa bahay nila sa Leveriza. Halos isang taon din ako doon at kahit isang beses, hindi pinaramdam sa akin na pabigat ako sa pamilya nila… Tapos, si Ma’am Lise. Siya sumagot ng ACL operation ko kahit hindi naman sa rehearsals o show ng BM nangyari ang aking injury noon. Sobrang bait niya po talaga sa akin!” (I also would like everyone to know that when I couldn’t go home to Dasmariñas, Cavite during the lockdown, JC invited me to stay in their house in Leveriza. I was there for almost a year and never did they make me feel that I was a burden. Then, there’s Ma’am Lisa Macuja-Elizalde who shouldered my ACL operation, even if my injury didn’t occur during rehearsals or a BM show. She’s been very kind to me!)

Having been the recipient of love and support since he entered ballet, this artist wants nothing more than to repay his second family with kindness and hard work, “Ginagalingan ko pa po dito sa Ballet Manila. Gusto ko rin po na maghikayat ng ibang bata katulad ko. Gusto kong makilala nila ang ballet bilang isang career. Ang laki talaga kasi ng naitulong sa akin ng pagsasayaw.” (I do my best to be an even better dancer here in Ballet Manila. I also hope to convince other boys like me to go into ballet. I want them to know that it can be a career. Dancing has really done so much for me.)

What’s Raymond’s advice then to young boys who are showing interest in ballet? He underlines, “Kung gusto mo talaga, aralin mo! Hindi natural ang ballet. Kailangan mo pag-aralan ang technique, artistry, at pati na rin nga ang pagngiti. Dapat buuin mo ang disiplina na mag-aral para manatili dito.” (If you really want to dance, you have to study! Ballet isn’t something that you can naturally do. You have to learn technique, artistry and even how to smile while performing. You have to establish that discipline to study so you can stay in ballet.)

“Hindi ito madali,” concludes Raymond, recalling that only three of them from his early days made it to the professional level. “Tuwing nahihirapan ako, iniisip ko lang ang pinangako ko kay Mama. Gusto ko’ng pagbutihin pa dito para sa kanya at pati na rin sa pamilya ko dito sa BM!” (Making it in ballet isn’t easy. Whenever things become difficult, I just think of the promise I made to my mother. I want to be a better dancer for her and also for my family here in BM!)

Photos by Giselle P. Kasilag