Benedict Sabularse finds his way back to ballet
Shortly after joining Ballet Manila last September, Benedict Sabularse (left) was cast in Florante at Laura as Hari ng Crotona and shares a scene here with principal dancer Joshua Enciso as Florante. Photo by Erickson Dela Cruz
By Jv Ramos
Among the newest faces in Ballet Manila is Benedict Sabularse, a Filipino dancer whose resumé includes a five-year stay with Pole National Supérieur de Danse of Marseille and a stint with the Hong Kong Ballet, and who has re-emerged after a voluntary three-year absence in the dance world. Now twenty-four, this talent is determined to continue his journey in his homeland with BM.
Three years after being away from dancing, Ballet Manila company artist Benedict Sabularse is back doing the one thing that makes him happy. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
“Noong September lang ako pumasok ng BM, pero familiar na sa akin ang ginagawa nila dito. Noong una pa lang kasi ako nag-ba-ballet, dinadala na kami nina Sir Jeff dito sa Donada,” narrates Benedict, who began his ballet training with Academy One where BM pioneers Jeffrey Espejo and Pamela Asprer Espejo are teachers. He was 15 years old with absolutely no dance background when he was selected from the Tuloy sa Don Bosco Foundation to be a ballet scholar. (Though I only entered the company in September, I’m already familiar with the way they do things here. I remember that early on in my dance training, Sir Jeff would bring us here in the Donada studio of BM.)
Benedict recalls that before Academy One, his only previous exposure to ballet was seeing fellow Tuloy sa Don Bosco dormmates Rodney Catubay and Raymond Salcedo [now both BM company artists] warming up for ballet and enjoying what they were doing. He got even more curious when he watched the ballet scholars perform in a Nutcracker production. He was so impressed by what they could do with their bodies that he decided he’d like to experience the joy of dancing ballet too.
He remembers that first year to be very difficult. “Nag-a-adjust pa kasi ang katawan ko sa ballet noon, at sobrang strict talaga ang pagturo ni Sir Jeff dahil pangarap niya ay makapag-abroad kami dahil sa sayaw.” (My body was still adjusting and the way Sir Jeff taught ballet was very strict because he was determined to send us abroad through dance.)
Though nerve-wracking, competitions can also be fun and educational, says Benedict who is seen here dancing the Ali Variation from Le Corsaire as his competition piece in the Prix de Lausanne in 2017. Photo from the Prix de Lausanne Facebook page
But being one who enjoys challenges, the teenager diligently attended class and took every correction well. “Sobrang naging effective sa akin ang pagiging mahigpit nila sa Academy One, dahil pagkatapos ng isang taon, naipadala na ako sa Royal Academy of London para sa isang Summer Intensive at napasali na rin sa mga competitions.” (Academy One’s exacting training proved to be effective. In just one year with them, I made it to the Royal Academy of London for a Summer Intensive, and we were also ready to be fielded in competitions.) Among the competitions he joined were the Prix de Lausanne and Asian Grand Prix abroad, and those hosted by the Cultural Center of the Philippines.
Asked about his years as a ballet competitor, our subject comments that it had been a mix of enjoyment and nervousness. “Nakaka-nerbiyos dahil ang dami talagang competitive at magagaling, pero nag-enjoy rin ako dahil marami akong nakilala at higit sa lahat napatuwa ko ang lola ko. Tuwang-tuwa siya nu’ng nakikita niya ako sa telebisyon at diyaryo.” (It made me feel very nervous because everyone around me was very competitive and very good at what they do. But I also enjoyed those years, because I got to meet other dancers and most importantly, I was able to make my grandmother happy. Seeing my story on television and in newspapers made her so happy.)
This danseur reveals that it was his grandmother who raised him, and when she couldn’t put him through school as she grew older, she worked on bringing him to the Tuloy sa Don Bosco Foundation for him to experience a better life. “Napadpad ako sa mundo ng ballet dahil sa lola ko! Siya ang dahilan kung bakit na-experience ko ang lahat ng na-experience ko,” Benedict expresses. “Kaya naman tuwing kinakabahan ako sa competition, iniisip ko lang siya. Pinapaalala ko sa sarili ko na sumasayaw ako para sa future namin ni Lola. Gusto kong mabigyan ko siya ng magandang buhay, gusto ko na maalagaan ko siya sa pagsasayaw ko.” (I was able to enter the world of ballet all because of my grandmother. She is the reason I experienced all that I’ve experienced… Whenever I got nervous in competitions, I would just think of her. I would remind myself that I was dancing for the future I wanted to give her. I want to be able to give her a good life through my dancing.)
Benedict performs in Tuloy ang Sayaw-an, a joint project of Ballet Manila and Academy One in 2019 that raised funds for ballet scholars. Photo by Erickson Dela Cruz
It's also because of his grandmother that he decided to return home after staying in France for five years, spent training and getting professional experience (first with the junior company and then the main company of Pole National Supérieur de Danse of Marseille). “Na-homesick ako kasi mga tatlong araw hanggang isang linggo ang binibigay lang sa amin tuwing uuwi kami ng ’Pinas. At buti na lang talaga na umuwi ako noong 2019 dahil sa sumunod na taon, nangyari na ang COVID.” (I got extremely homesick. In my five years there, we were only allowed to stay for three days to one week whenever we’d visit the Philippines. And it was a good decision that I came home in 2019, because a year after, COVID happened.)
During the pandemic, Benedict unexpectedly fell out of love with ballet. “Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero nagsawa ako sa routine na bawat araw ay wala akong ginawa kundi mag-klase at sumayaw. Noong time na ’yon, parang may hinahanap na iba ang katawan ko kaya tinigil ko ang lahat ng sayaw at nag-aral. Nag-try din ako maging mekaniko sa Tita ko.” (I don’t know why, but I suddenly got tired of the routine of going to dance classes day after day. During that time, I felt that my body was looking for new things to try. I quit dancing completely and resumed my studies. I also tried my hand being a mechanic in my aunt’s business.)
Benedict admits that he had no intentions of dancing again, but on the third year that he stepped away from it, he realized no other activity can offer him the same satisfaction as ballet. “Mas masaya talaga ako kapag sumasayaw ako. Na-miss ko ang pag-share ng talent ko; ang pag-inspire sa iba kapag nag-perform ka. Iba talaga ang feeling kapag nakakapagpasaya ka ng tao!” (Nothing else can make me happier than dancing. I missed being able to share my talent, to inspire others when I would perform. There’s just a different feeling when you’re able to entertain people when you perform.)
Benedict (left), with fellow ballet scholar John Edgar Sumera and ballet mentors Jeffrey and Pam Espejo in this 2018 photo, is grateful for the strict training he underwent as a beginning dancer. Photo from Benedict Sabularse’s Facebook page
To get back, he contacted his first teachers, Jeff and Pam, and asked if he could come and join some of their classes and they welcomed him with open arms. “Tinulungan din ako ni Ms. Sofia Elizalde para mag-Steps [an established ballet school in Makati], at iyon, pinilit ko talaga na ibalik ang katawan ko sa ballet! Sobrang nahirapan ako sa pagbalik ko dahil parang tumigas na ang buong katawan ko, pero inisip ko lang ang itinuro sa akin ni Sir Jeff – na hindi ka dapat mag-give-up sa goals mo kahit sobrang nahihirapan ka na.” (I was also helped by Ms. Sofia Elizalde to enter Steps, and there, I really forced my body to get back into dancing shape! The process was very difficult for me because my body seemed to have lost all its flexibility. But I just carried on and applied what Sir Jeff taught me – you cannot give up on your goals, even when times get very difficult.)
Benedict stresses, “Kasi kapag nag-give-up ka, tinatapon mo lang ang lahat ng effort mo. Repetitive ang sayaw kasi. Kailangan mo gawin ito nang gawin upang matutunan mo. Hindi mo rin makukuha ang tamang technique kung tumigil ka. Process siya talaga, kaya naman tiniis ko ang hirap ng pagbalik ko.” (In dance, if you give up, you’re just throwing away all the effort you’ve put in. Dancing is repetitive by nature, so you need to do things over and over again to learn it. You also can’t get the technique right if you stop. Learning or re-learning ballet is a long process, so I just kept going, even if it was very difficult for my body.)
Having gained most of his skills back, Benedict joined the Hong Kong Ballet in 2023 where he would perform five shows a day. While he was happy to get back to performing, he still eventually chose to come back to the Philippines so that he would be near his grandmother and take care of her. He is very grateful to Ballet Manila and artistic director Lisa Macuja Elizalde for giving him the opportunity to do just that after auditioning and taking class with the company.
Though dancing isn’t easy, Benedict is committed to keep getting better just as he was taught to. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag
Shortly after being accepted into the company, he was already given assignments in the original full-length choreography Florante at Laura last October and its Cinderella performance series in Dumaguete City last November. “Matagal na akong sumasayaw pero ngayon lang ako nakasayaw sa isang local company. Nakakatuwa talaga kung lahat ng kasama mo ay Pinoy. Iba talaga kapag nagkaka-intindihan kayong lahat at kapag marami kang nakakausap.” (I’ve been dancing for so long yet this is just my first time to dance in a local company. I’m very pleased to experience dancing with other Filipinos. It’s different when you’re surrounded by people who understand you and when you’re easily able to approach and talk to everyone.)
He has quickly adjusted to the rhythm of the company which was particularly busy in the last quarter of 2024, including learning steps for three productions simultaneously. He is also preparing himself for more challenges and opportunities this year. “Hindi madali ang pagsasayaw, pero ayokong mag-give-up. Itutuloy ko lang kagaya ng itinuro sa akin, kagaya ng ginagawa ko dati.” (Dancing isn’t easy, but I refuse to give-up. I will keep going just as I was taught to do, and just as I have always done.)
Whenever he struggles with difficulties, Benedict just reminds himself of what he’s fighting for. “Gusto kong mabigyan ng magandang buhay ang lola ko, kaya ipinagbubuti ko ang pagsayaw dito. Nakakatulong talaga ang paghahanap ng inspirasyon sa mga napagdaanan mo.” (I want to be able to give my grandmother a good life, which is why I try to make myself a better dancer each day. It really helps to find inspiration from what you’ve gone through.)
