Newly promoted soloist Rafael Perez talks about manifesting his ballet dreams

When his promotion was announced, Paeng blanked out briefly on stage. It was a happy surprise for the young danseur who had returned to dancing just a year before.

By Jv Ramos

March is Rafael Perez’s season. In 2024, the month marked his return to Ballet Manila after leaving the company during the pandemic to focus on his studies. And last month, in just one year of performing professionally once more, he was promoted to soloist when the company’s 30th anniversary season-opener, The Pearl Gala, came to a close.

***Ballet Manila’s newest soloist Rafael “Paeng” Perez is motivated to do even better and to continue putting in the extra work. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag***

Rafael, whom many call Paeng, shares, "Nu’ng nakabalik na ako sa araw-araw na pagsayaw, rehearsals at extra workout, dumaan sa isip ko na kaya kong maging soloist sa susunod na season." He had not danced in the three years that he had stepped away from Ballet Manila. But being a dancer who's very aware of the condition of his body and his skill set, he knew that getting to the next level was possible with consistent training and hard work. "Pero hindi ko talaga in-expect na ang promotion ko ang mangyayari pagkatapos ng first show." (But I really didn’t expect to be promoted right after this season’s first show.)

Asked what he felt the very moment his promotion was announced on stage, Paeng starts chuckling. He recalls being in the middle of joking with his fellow company member, Jamil Montibon, that his name would be called next when the company's artistic director Lisa Macuja Elizalde was going through the list of soloists. "Ginagawa ko ang biro na ’yon tuwing curtain call ng Pearl Gala. Kaya naman sobrang nagulat ako nu’ng biglang tinawag talaga ang pangalan ko pagkatapos sabihin na may bagong soloist ang Ballet Manila." (I’d always joke about being a soloist every time we’d do the curtain call for the Pearl Gala. That’s why I was so shocked when my name was actually called after it was announced that Ballet Manila was welcoming a new soloist.)

*In a pas de trois with Jessica Pearl Dames and Nanami Hasegawa as part of* Paquita Diverstissement in The Pearl Gala *last March. His performance in that show helped clinch the promotion for him. Photo by Erickson Dela Cruz*

It also came as a surprise to many as Ballet Manila would usually announce promotions at the end of a season, not after the run of just the first show of the season. Macuja Elizalde was quoted afterwards saying, “I’d actually been considering it for quite some time now. But I needed to see him first in a real soloist role like the pas de trois of Paquita. It’s very much deserved especially after his third Pearl Gala show when he danced the pas de trois so well. That’s why I made the decision after watching him in both shows and in [the new choreography] Pearls.”

Dance critic Marge Enriquez would later cite in her review of The Pearl Gala in the Inquirer: “Rafael Perez, the only male in the pas de trois [in Paquita], distinguished himself with beautifully arched feet, precise batterie, virtuosic clarity, and verve.”

*Paeng (left) dances alongside Rodney Catubay in Dancing to Verdi in the send-off concert of* Ballet Manila’s Greatest Hits last September. While rehearsing in Malaysia, he got injured and was unable to perform – one of the saddest times in his career, he says. Photo by Erica Jacinto

Snapping back to reality after blanking out briefly on stage, Paeng says he made the sign of the Cross to thank God, approached his artistic director to hug and thank her and bowed before the cheering crowd at Aliw Theater. "Matagal bago ko na-process ang nangyari. Pero nu’ng medyo napag-isipan ko na, na-realize ko na ang pagiging soloist ay hindi lang tungkol sa pagsayaw ng mas maraming malaking roles. Ito'y patunay na may trust sa iyo ang faculty ng company at sobrang nagpapasalamat ako dito. Hindi ko siya i-te-take for granted. Ipagbubuti ko pa ang mga ginagawa ko since nakabalik ako sa ballet." (It took a long time for me to process what happened. But when I was able to think about it, I realized that being a soloist is more than being able to dance better roles. It’s a testament that the faculty of the company trusts you and I’m very thankful for that. I will not take it for granted. I will continue to do what I’ve been doing since I resumed dancing.)

Paeng’s first year back as a company artist, admittedly, had not been easy. From jumping in to replace an injured dancer in Le Corsaire – his first show after a three-year hiatus – he had to make his body stronger to match Ballet Manila’s full slate of season performances and back-to-back tours. At one point, this dancer had to settle for the sidelines when he was injured during rehearsals, just as the company was to begin its series of performances in Malaysia last September.

*Quickly adjusting to Ballet Manila’s packed schedule in 2024, Paeng (third from left) does double-duty in* Florante at Laura which premiered at the Aliw Theater in October. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag

“’Yun yata ang isa sa hindi magandang na-experience ko bilang dancer,” points out Paeng. “Pinili ka at dinala ka sa isang tour pero hindi ka nakapagsayaw dahil na-injure ka. Hiyang-hiya ako noon kay Ma’am Lise. Pero doon ko rin na-realize ang pag-aalala niya sa aming mga dancers. Napaiyak pa nga ako nu’ng nakita ko ang pagiging motherly niya sa amin.” (That may be one of my worst experiences as a dancer. You’re selected and brought to a tour abroad but ended up not dancing due to an injury. I felt really embarrassed in front of Ma’am Lise. But it’s also when I realized how much she cared for us dancers. I couldn’t help but cry when she was so motherly towards us.)

It was also while being sidelined that this dancer was reminded of how blessed he is to be part of Ballet Manila, being surrounded by people as determined as he is to put on a good show. “Nu’ng nalaman ng mga boys na dalawa na ang injured, sila na mismo ang naghanap ng paraan para mag-re-block para mabuo ang sayaw. Nakakabilib silang panuorin!” (When the boys found out that two dancers were injured, they took the initiative to re-block themselves and piece the dance together. It was amazing to see them adjust to the circumstances and perform so well.)

*After signing up with Ballet Manila in 2016, one of Paeng’s earliest experiences dancing in a full-length classic was in* Swan Lake (2017) where, in this scene, he is flanked by Rodney Catubay (left) and Eduardson Evangelio. Photo by Ocs Alvarez

It took three weeks before Paeng’s injury completely healed, after which he resumed his usual way of completely concentrating on his ballet growth. “Nakatulong talaga ang Ballet Sports Science sa pagbabalik ko, pero bukod doon, nakatulong talaga ang pag-focus at pagiging masipag.” (Getting into Ballet Sports Science really helped me get back, but other than that, being focused and diligent also helped.) It didn’t matter if he was alone in the studio or gym, he notes, he just kept on doing extra work to improve his stamina and to perform better.

And while many see him as a funny guy, Paeng reasons that all the frequent joking about getting a promotion or getting major roles in a season production is actually his own way of manifesting good opportunities to come his way. "Hindi lang siya biro sa akin. Sinasabayan ko siya ng trabaho para mangyari talaga o kaya para naman handa ako kapag dumating ang opportunity." (It’s not all jokes to me. I pair my manifestations with hard work so when it happens or when an opportunity comes, I’m ready to face it.)

***Performing with Nanami Hasegawa and Shamira Drapete in Pearls, a new choreography by Lisa Macuja Elizalde and Martin Lawrance presented in The Pearl Gala. Photo by Erica Jacinto***

Paeng notes that he often says "Kaya ko ’yan" (I can do it) even to roles he may not have danced before, because it's his way of motivating himself. "Kapag dancer ka, dapat wala kang negatibong sinasabi o naiisip tungkol sa sarili mo. Okay lang kung may sabihin ang iba na hindi maganda tungkol sa iyo, pero hindi ito dapat manggaling sa iyo. Dapat may bilib ka sa sarili mo at nagtra-trabaho ka para marating ang gusto mo.” (When you’re a dancer, you shouldn’t say or think negative things about yourself. It’s okay if other people criticize you but it shouldn’t come from you. You need to believe in yourself and work very hard to get to where you want to be.)

So, what’s next for Paeng? For one, he’s applied to UP Los Baños again for remote learning as graduating from college has always been one of his goals. He believes he can manage his time between ballet and academics, as modules can be attended to after his hours in the studio.

***Many see Paeng as a funny guy, but when it comes to improving himself in ballet, he takes it quite seriously. Photo by Giselle P. Kasilag***

“Sa ballet naman, gusto kong sundin ang laging pinapaalala sa amin ni Sir Shaz kapag may na-accomplish kami: Hindi pa tapos ang trabaho.” (In ballet, I want to put into practice what Sir Shaz [Ballet Manila’s late co-artistic director Osias Barroso Jr.] would always remind us every time we accomplished something: The work isn’t over yet.)

The Ballet Manila soloist then shares all that he’s reflected on the past few weeks. “Ayokong maging kampante dahil soloist na ako. Gusto kong ipagpatuloy o dagdagan pa ang extra work na ginagawa ko. Bilang soloist, kailangan aware rin ako na puwede akong maging role model ng mga nakababatang dancer, kaya kailangan good example ako lagi.” (I don’t want to be complacent because I’m already a soloist. I want to continue or add to the extra work that I’ve been doing. As a soloist, I should also be aware that the younger dancers may see me as a role model, so I’d like to be a good example always.)

After not dancing for years, Rafael Perez follows his heart and returns to ballet